Its only the Beginning…

Here I am world… or blogging world at least. I am going to embark on a new experience here… I had started another blog, but apparently I was on the wrong site… so I am going to put a little more effort to be, well, more artistic and creative with this site. So, please bear with me…

My name is Aimee. I am 25, going on 26. I am a mother of 3 very beautiful children. Although I am young in age, I feel old. I guess kids will do that to you sometimes. I am happily married for over 6 years now. Yes, that means I got married at 19. I know, I know, that’s sooooo young to get married… but, we feel, we are the exception to the rule… so I don’t want to hear any judgment. I am very dedicated to my family… without them I would be no one… and most likely, nowhere. They are my life; my heart and soul.

I am a scorpio… I feel that is self-description enough. Ha. Look up the personality traits of a scorpio and I believe I fall into each and every catagory they describe; I may be wrong, but that’s how I see myself.

If I seem interesting enough, please join me on my journey through the surreal realm of blogging; a true journey of self-description and reaching deep within to express to others my life and my dreams, my inner most thoughts, and, of course, my family. I will share these things with you and hope you enjoy the stories you will read…

Scorpio… look it up!

Personality … this should be interesting…I’m never good at this part… scorpio… keep that in mind… LOL

Okay, I am pretty intense, in my eyes at least. I am a lover and not a fighter. I really don’t like to fight… at all… I HATE to fight… with anyone or anything. Haha It makes me miserable. I don’t feel like a very strong person, but I must be because we’ve made it through a lot. My “love language” is quality time. I love spending time with people. Forget the gifts, forget telling me how wonderful I am… I want your time!!! And most of the time I get it. I am very loving and caring. That I will admit and I KNOW that. It can definitely be a downfall at times. You care too much and you get hurt… its natural, but its not fun. Sometimes I overthink things… okay, MOST of the time I over think things. I don’t know why, I just do. I worry a lot, even over silly things. I am a home-body, but I like to go out too. I’m not wild and crazy, so you won’t see me dancing on table tops or anything like that. I am a people person, even though I can be quiet. I love people and I love caring for them. That’s probably why nursing will make a good profession.  I am probably just a little deeper than most people think…

My BFF

I truly have no idea how I’ve come to be so blessed to call her my best friend. We have been friends since the 6th grade. Seems like so long ago… we’ve been through the highs and lows of friendship, but over the last several years, we’ve come to a new level. I could no better tell you about myself than to talk about her as well. She is one of the most amazing people that I have ever met in my entire life. She is undoubtedly one of my role models as well. I can only strive to be as confident and amazing as she is. She has the biggest heart of anyone in the world. I see those “stickers” on facebook and myspace that say stuff about God made us best friends because our parents couldn’t handle us as sisters… its kinda like that. I don’t know that there ever has been or ever will be another woman that I am as close to as I am with her. I can tell her anything, I can be going through anything and she will listen to me and encourage me and always seems to have the right thing to say. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her. And although we are many many miles apart, when we do see each other, its as though its only been days since we last saw each other.
We have always been close, but this year, our bond, I believe has become stronger… she became a mother as well. It is so wonderful to see how she has changed and to also see what an amazing mother she is. She is so in love! I love that we can finally share another wonderful aspect on life and that is being a parent. I always knew she’d be a great mom when the time came. I was on my 3rd when she had her 1st. So she has a ways to go to catch up with me, but so far she is doing an incredible job!
I could go on and on about how wonderful she is, and she’d only smile and deny it. But anyone who truly knows her like I do, would agree with me. She is amazing. There have been times when she has been my rock in the swirling waves… the person I can go to when I’m hurting and scared and feeling alone; when I need to smile or laugh, or even just to say, hey I was thinking about you! She’s always there… night or day. And I love her for that… I love her for so many things and I will not soon forget what she’s done for me. She is truly special and most definitely, IRREPLACEABLE.

My Love, My Best Friend

The day I met him, I had this feeling deep inside that he was something special. We met by chance at the age of 12 at a Christian concert. I was there with my mom and my aunt and he was there with his youth group; which also happened to be my best friend’s youth group as well. I ran into my friend on accident… I didn’t even know she was going to be there, and low and behold, there was this really cute boy tagging along with her. When he said Hi to me, I’m pretty sure I blushed. The next day I saw my friend and asked her who he was and she said, oh he’s just a boy from my youth group. And I was like, well he’s really cute!! Needless to say, a couple months later, we ended up attending their church… so I got to see him again! The rest is history! Haha He was a bad boy back then, which of course to a good girl, was half his appeal at the the time. I remember the first gift he gave me when we first started “going out” was a little keychain with a mini leather jacket.I thought it was the greatest thing in the world. I love him right away. Over the next few years, we had our good times and bad, we’d “break up” then get back together again. But from those early days, we always said I love you. Everyone thought it was way too early to say that to a boy or for me to care that much, but it was true, we really truly loved each other. At 16, I had to move to Wisconsin with my parents, and he went to my going away party and came with roses and cards in hand and the promise to never forget me. We were on one of our break ups at the time, but I always had a feeling it wouldn’t be a forever kind of thing… that someday we’d be together when the time was right… While I was gone, he was dating someone else and they ended up having a baby… I don’t mention this out of spite or bitterness, I mention it because when we got back together in the spring of 2002, there was now this beautiful little baby girl too. I loved her from the first time I held her. It was the start of our lives together…

Now to skip ahead a few years… we got married on a slight whim when we were 19. And of course, we got the whole, you’re not gonna make it, its not true love, blah blah blah… but deep down we knew, that through everything we had been through together and apart from each other, that this is what we wanted and that we would make it. We married in his parent’s living room, with only his parents, the pastor, his sister and her boyfriend, his daughter, and one of his parent’s friends. It was not at all what we had had in mind, but at the time, that’s what it came down to. We cried during our vows, I have pictures to prove that he was teary eyed too! It was special in it own way, even though that’s not how we would’ve really planned it to be. Its a long story, but it turned out to be a good day anyways. Afterwards, we went to dinner, then his sister’s boyfriend ended up paying for a hotel for us Downtown Chicago and the 4 of us went to a wonderful dinner, had wine, had fun, drove around the city; it was a great time. I’ll never forget it. Two months later, I discovered I was pregnant! Whoa! Haha. I was excited as was he, but we were also scared. We were in no position to have a baby, but obviously… we were still so excited to finally be having a baby together! Then on our ten month anniversary, our first son, Anthony was born. Our family had begun…

Now, 6 years later, we are still going strong. We have been on a roller coaster ride, ups and downs, but it has been wonderful. He is such an amazing man. He is so good to me; to us. He is such a dedicated and incredible father. He works hard for us and has our best interests in mind in everything he does. He was my first and only true love. He means to the world to me. He is the positive to my negative. He is the sunshine to my rain. He is everything I can ask for. Yes, he has his faults, but in the whole scheme of things, he is just what he needs to be… and I couldn’t ask for more. Our “wedding” song that we had chosen, was perfect for us… it states clearly and concisely how we feel about each other… it is Edwin McCain’s I’ll Be. For as long as I live those words will be imprinted in my mind. Every book I read, every song I hear, every dream I have, it all makes me think of him. He is the reason I am the way I am. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it wasn’t for him… the good and the bad. I will love him forever and always. With each year that passes, I love him even more than I did the year before. He amazes me. He is wonderful. He is amazing. He is incredible. He is my best friend. He is my lover. He is my soul mate. He is MY HUSBAND!

A Brief summary of my goals

I have a few goals… I have put them off for a long time, but they’re still there. One of which is very important to me; and no matter how long it takes me, I will accomplish it!!!

Becoming a nurse… I have wanted to do this for as long as I can remember. I made the first step when I was 18 and becamse a CNA. I did that for about a year and half in a nursing home. Now, I know its not the most glamorous job, but I always loved it. There is a special place in my heart for the elderly; they mean a lot to me. Anyways, life got in the way, and I stopped working and my certification expired. So, this summer, I decided that I was going to go back and re-take the class so I could become a CNA again!! Not only because I needed to be making money, but because that to me, was not a dead-end job. I could work as a CNA for the rest of my life and still feel accomplished. It is such a humbling job and it forces you to be someone important in ways that you never could have known to be before. As my mom once told me, it takes someone special to do that job. And let me tell you, I never would’ve thought that that would be me!! There are many man people doing this job just for the paycheck. I work with a lot of them. Caring and compassionate CNA’s are sometimes very hard to come by. But I feel as though I am one of the caring ones. It means a lot to me to be doing this again. I suceeded at going back to school, even if it was for only three straight weeks. (Literally three straight weeks. I had class from 9-5 and my clinicals were 12 hour days.) But now, as I am waiting to take my state test to become officially certified by the state, I am working as a nursing assistant in a nursing home, which is not that great, but people are people no matter their lifestyle or budget, and these people still deserve the proper care and respect that I can give them. As soon as I set foot on the floors of this nursing home, something inside me felt alive again. This is so much better than being the cashier at the grocery store, or the stock girl at Wal-Mart or the annoying telemarketer on the phone!!! (And yes, I’ve been all of those!) This is something that makes me happy. And aside from the decent paycheck, I am making a real difference in someone’s life. Yes, it can be gross, and you can get really exhausted, but to me, its worth it. Because I pray that if for some reason I ever have to be in one of those beds, that someone with the same heart that I have will be taking care of me. Someone who truly cares. After I get certified, I want to go and work in a hospital and I really want to work post-partum. My ultimate goal with this is obviously to keep moving up… the next step is to get enrolled into a college and I want to go for my LPN; which for those of you who don’t know, that is Licensed Practical Nurse. Its a step above CNA and a step below Registered Nurse. Yes, its more money, which of course is always great. But it gets me another step closer to my ultimate goal. I know it is going to take a lot of time and sleepless nights, but I want to become an RN and work in Labor and Delivery. A lot of people say that they weren’t built for that and that it was too hard and stuff like that, but ya know what… I’ve had three kids, I have a pretty tough stomach, but I also know how much my nurses meant to me. There was one nurse I didn’t care for when I initially went in with my oldest, but at shift change, I got the most wonderful nurse. These nurses make such an impact on how your labor and delivery go! I just know that the 3 nurses I’ve had really made a huge difference in how I felt when i was in labor. And I want to be that for other women. That is my ultimate goal. We need people with hearts in this field… to many people these days are bitter and callused. And I strive to be exactly opposite

My Grandma

Let me just say this… I love my family… even my in-laws… no matter how crazy and dysfunctional it may be… That being said, let me go on… I shall start this off with the most important one… without her we would not even be here… My Grandma…

She is probably one of the most amazing, loving, caring people I have ever known. I am thankful and blessed to call her my grandma. She is adorable and strong and without those qualities… I dont think our lives would be the same. She wrote me an email to let me know she read my blog posts… amazing! LOL I didn’t know she even knew I had one. I am glad she reads them… I’m sure she will cry at this… because all of the women in my family… we’re all a bunch of saps and even cry at commercials. No lie. Anyways…

Although i don’t talk to her very often, or as often as I would like… there are things that make me think of her almost daily. Not just because of where I work… I think about her all the time. She’s amazing and I think she’s left a wonderful impression on the lives of everyone she’s ever come in contact with. She has such a loving spirit… I wish often that we lived closer so that she could see my children grow up just as she saw us (her grandkids) grow up. But I know that she loves them even though she is not here. I feel as though I need to make her proud… and I hope in some ways I already have. I worry about her all the time… probably too because we don’t talk too much so I don’t know what’s going on with her. But I wish we were close so I could check in on her or take care of her if she ever needed someone too. I would move her here if ever she needed or wanted too. I love to read the things she writes… she definitely has a gift to put things so uniquely into words, and somehow that has been passed down in our family.

I don’t know what I’d do without her. She is a wonderful person and I pray that anyone who meets her or anyone who knows her, feels the same way… you can benefit just being in her presence.

Grandma, I love you and I miss you!